Still today I don’t know whether some things actually happened or whether it was my delirium.

There was an occasion where I was lying in bed and I could hear a woman kicking off, getting all excited, and I heard staff say ‘don’t worry, we’ve got an off-duty police officer as a patient on the ward’ (which is me) and I thought ‘well, I can’t do anything about it – I can’t move, I can’t get out of bed! Are they expecting me to restrain this woman?’

There was another occasion where – and I think this happened but again I’m not 100% sure – I was having my central line changed (the feeding and medication tubes) under local anaesthetic in my bed…And I could hear a patient, a male patient, shouting for the doctor who was doing this procedure on me – it was just cutting a hole and putting another tube in; and then I could hear someone being assaulted, so I could hear this slap or punch or something along those lines, and I was really scared because I thought ‘he’s coming for my doctor, he’s really angry at the doctor’ and I’m lying there, she’s got a knife to my neck…I couldn’t see, cause I had this blue towel tissue thing, surgical sort of covering over me, I couldn’t see, I could hear what was going on – and it sounded like it was very close, and I was really concerned for my safety then, and also the safety of the doctor…and then I think the police came in, and I’m sure I remember seeing uniform; but actually now I know I was never facing that way round, so that must have been either part true, part hallucination, or complete hallucination, delirium…


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